Luck Be A Fish Bone Tonight

If eating fish on New Year’s Day represents abundance for the rest of the year, what does getting a fish bone stuck in the back of one’s throat for 18 hours represent?

The first day of 2021 started out pretty chill for me. A nice, quiet Friday. Even though I wasn’t celebrating with my family per the usual due to Covid-19, I wanted to keep our Southern New Year’s lucky fish fry tradition alive. Therefore, my husband and I ordered an early dinner from a local Black owned soul food business. The menu consisted of:

  • Fried fish whiting (abundance)
  • Black eyed peas (coins/wealth)
  • Collard greens (dollars/good fortune)
  • Cornbread (gold)
  • Mac & Cheese
  • Yams
  • Banana pudding

I was just about finished with my dinner, and floating on cloud 9, when a fish bone floated back into the left side of my palatopharyngeal arch. This is located back near your hanging Uvula. The pain was minimal, but the discomfort steadily increased so my husband looked up removal remedies for what turns out to be a common occurrence.

  1. I swallowed clumps of bread
  2. I swallowed chunks of banana
  3. I gargled warm salt water to fend off any possible infection
  4. I swallowed so many marshmallows that I briefly turned into the Stay Puft Marshallow Man
  5. I took two shots of pure fire Apple Cider Vinegar to soften the fish bone
  6. I shot a Waterpik at the bone and ended up powerwashing the back of my throat while making what my husband referred to as, “dolphin noises”

I should mention that I have a horrible gag reflex, so at one point I ended up returning marshmallow, banana, and bread back from whence they came when I tried to forcefully attack the area out of frustration.

1 mm fish bone next to a 16.9 FL OZ water bottle cap for reference, on the base of a red Solo cup

I threw in the towel for the night and was only comfortable sleeping on my right side, so when I woke up I was hell-bent on getting the bone out one way or another. The successful way ended up being through the use of sterilized tweezers and by giving my best doctor recommended “AHHHH” to contract my palatopharyngeal arch inward for an easier reach to the area. As I pulled out the 1 mm (1/4 of an inch) long fish bone that had been embedded inside my mouth, I felt an exponentially heavy sense of relief and only mild soreness.

This whole fiasco has to gain me a whole lucky rainbow for 2021, right?!